You probably know all the problems with taking Viagra.

So why not try a simple watermelon instead.  These scientists keep coming up with clever ideas. 

At least you will not go blind and get to fuck too. 

Nothing devastates a man than to find out that he cannot impregnate a woman.

Relax.  Infertility among men is related to age.

If you regretted the death of Peter Jennings because of smoking you will like the movie Thank You For Smoking.

I think there has to be a better way to make money than by killing people.

I often wonder how do the shareholders of tobacco companies sleep at night. 

Hey ladies, don't want your bobbies to sag? 

Wear an underwire bra then.

I think there should be no photos of girls peeing but it appears that girls like to be photographed sitting on a toilet seat. 

Or, shall we say, when you have had too much to drink and you have to piss on the grass on a highway. 

I don't how many times have I seen white blouse and black bra combo but this is the first time I am seeing black thong under white pants.

Oh God I feel sorry for all those women who lose sleep over visible panty lines (VPL). 

I can how Christina Aguilera forgot to wear panties but this girl forgot to wear her pants -- oh God these cell phones are so addictive. 

Nice leopard print underwear though.

Oh no this is no group masturbation party -- this is a real orgy that probably includes swingers and voyeurs (these are people who like to watch and you can see those women in the back who are watching people around them or taking pictures).  That BBW in red bra sure knows how to suck.

Remember swinging is not for you if you are the jealous type and don't trust your partner. 

Aha, even that macho man Hulk Hogan cannot forget his ex.

So it was right to write How can I forget my ex earlier. 

If you enjoyed reading my previous two posts Lessons about life , how to be wonderful and how to enjoy life, then you will enjoy this one on how to make the best of your life on the planet:

1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant.

2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Buy a lock if you have to.

3. Try to get enough sleep.

4. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, 'My purpose is to____ today.'

5. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.

6. Watch more movies, play more games and read more books than you did last year.

7. Make time to practice meditation, yoga, tai chi, and prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.

8. Spend more time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6.

9. Dream more while you are awake.

10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.

11. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli, almonds & walnuts.

12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.

13. Clear your clutter from your house, your car, your desk and let new and flowing energy into your life.

14. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.

15. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.

16. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.

17. Smile and laugh more. It will keep the energy vampires away.

18. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

20. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

21. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

22. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

23. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

24. Burn the candles, use the nice bed sheets. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years, will this matter?'

27. Forgive everyone for everything.

28. What other people think of you is none of your business.

29. Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.

30. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

31. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will.  Stay in touch.

32. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

33. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

34. The best is yet to come.

35. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

36. Do the right thing!

37. Call your family often. Keep in touch with them.

38. Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements: 'I am thankful for ___.' Today I accomplished ____.

39. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.

40. Enjoy the ride. Remember that this is not Disney World and you certainly don't want a fast pass. You only have one ride through life so make the most of it and enjoy the ride.

HAVE A NICE DAY!!!!! May your troubles be less, May your blessings be more. And may nothing but happiness come through your door!

Please help me by adding to this list if there is a lesson in life that you have learned.